...You've ever heard the words "Yaoi...is that what I think it is?"

...You can't watch a buddy movie without expecting the two butch male leads to pull each other close and kiss passionately.

...You can't watch any movie with two or more male leads without expecting them to pull each other close and kiss passionately.

...You scan every new anime you watch for male characters who have chemistry with each other.

...When watching anime, you categorize each new male character you meet as either a "seme" or an "uke."

...You consider all female anime characters to be both extraneous and completely disposable.

...You know what size you are in men's leather pants...even though you're a chick.

...You know more pornographic terms in the Japanese language than in any other, including your native tongue.

...You learned kanji...to be able to read...porn. (Good porn!)

...Even your friends and family members know the difference between "shonen-ai" and "yaoi."

...Before letting anyone in your room, you run around taking pictures off the wall and throwing blankets over your book shelves.

...The question from your relatives: "Oh, you're a writer? What do you write?" fills you with dread. (You're not ashamed, but your devoutly Catholic aunt does have that bad heart...)

...You find yourself oddly attracted to gay men, even though you're a straight chick.

...You find yourself attracted to any man, even though you're a lesbian.

...Even your husband knows the difference between "shonen-ai" and "yaoi."

...You've ever spent an entire Friday night writing a list of ways you know you're a yaoi fan if... (Sorry, little plug for myself, there - Min)

...You've ever spared someone's feelings by explaining: "Oh, yaoi? It's just a...a term of excitement and enthusiasm. Yeah, that's it!" (Yoweeee!)

...Your child has ever embarrassed you by explaining to a friend: "My mommy likes to watch men kiss!"

...You think that corn is a dirty sex object.

...You've ever laughed your way through a Star Wars movie, confusing others by referring to the lightsabers as "glowing cones of light."

...You've ever gotten excited flipping through a new manga until you realize that girly man kissing that butch samurai...is a girl! (Dammit!)

...You've ever attended Yaoi Con. (Wooooohooooo!!!!)

...You consider some of your fellow online yaoi fans to be your best friends...even though you don't actually know their real names. (We yaoi fans do have a thing for aliases and pen names, don't we?)

...You've ever been mortified after sending your computer in for repair after you remember just what image you have up as your Desktop Wallpaper.

...You've named your cat(s) and/or dog(s) after anime terms and/or characters. (Hee hee, I love my Bengal Mix, Chibi.)

...The clerks at your local manga-stocking book store know to direct you toward the new shonen-ai titles. (Even the straight men who think yaoi is "icky.")

...You can't read kanji...but you do know the characters for "Ooh!" and "Mm." (And, "oh that hurts!")

...These two words send a thrill through your heart: "Fan service."